I'm lost and stupid without you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She bit a glass in half.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
