No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
