he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
