Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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