You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
