You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
