Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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