It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
