but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
