The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
