So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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