All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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