Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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