You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
MIDGETS
????
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
