My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
