your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
