he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
