Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
