Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
