you traded sex for a burrito?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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