So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
