I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she smelled like a LAN party
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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