Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
