I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
