If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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