I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
