I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
