I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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