she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
