shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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