Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
