did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
