oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize