if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
