my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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