Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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