so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
