and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
