Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
