Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
