I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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