He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My brain says no but my pants say off.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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