Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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