She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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