I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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