i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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