oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
and you fell through a lawn chair
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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