In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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