No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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