he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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