mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
