wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
