Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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