You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
